SOLVE CHILD DISCIPLINE PROBLEMS
WITH PARENT LEADERSHIP
Child discipline problems result from parents making some common, basic leadership mistakes. One mistake may be described as leading too much. When you "lead too much" you block the child's development of responsible self-leadership.
To demonstrate fine parent leadership, you first must follow. Follow your child with your eyes and ears. Observe what she does and get to know how she expresses what she wants to do. By recognizing and responding to your child's expressed needs you can avoid child behavior problems.
Effective parent leadership means leading your child into becoming an excellent leader of himself. Parents inadvertently cause child behavior problems when they needlessly or too forcefully oppose the child's will.
To be successful at parent leadership you need to lead the child in line with the child's true interests. Parent leadership is not about teaching the child blind obedience. Parent leadership is about preparing the child to lead a great life. Child behavior problems signal that the child is not happy. No child can behave well while he feels angry, insecure or discouraged and this is how the overly controlled child must feel. By helping the child to responsibly follow his own interests and inclinations the child feels content and child discipline problems are avoided.
For instance if your young child wants to examine an object made of glass, stand closely enough to protect the object and let her do so. If your child wants to jump down the inside staircase, take him outside and give him the opportunity to jump there. Skillful parent leadership does not condone the child's excessive self-indulgence. As long as the activity is safe, of interest to the child, challenging, and developmental (or educational) don't just allow it – encourage it. Otherwise you are setting you and your child up for child discipline challenges.
You want to be a great parent. Children do great in life as a result of the great parenting they received. Great parent leadership requires excellent parental judgment. To know when your child needs your help, and what kind of help your child needs in the now, persistently practice maintaining your peace and poise no matter how your child behaves. Peace and poise provides you with the base you need to sense and follow your own best judgment for solving or avoiding child discipline problems.
No challenge in life may be more demanding than parenting. Children are not easy. Parent leadership includes self-leadership that takes your needs into account. Parents over-react and under-perform, thereby inciting child discipline issues, when they do not take adequate care of themselves. Leading with peace and poise not only insures that you demonstrate the best judgment with your children. It also insures that you feel calm, confident, secure and content while you are with your child.
Parenting tips that overlook how the parent is driving herself overlook a crucial factor parent leadership. How we feel is contagious. An unhappy stressed out parent causes her child to feel unhappy and stressed out, and when a child feels that way a child discipline problem is beginning. So following your own needs and blending those with the child's needs solves or avoids child discipline problems and represents excellent parent leadership.
Solve or Avoid child discipline problems by developing your parent leadership with Bob Lancer's breakthrough parenting book: Parenting With Love, Without Anger Or Stress.