12 ESSENTIAL PARENTING WITH LOVE KEYS

THAT BOB LANCER HELPS PARENTS APPLY  

1. The ongoing self-development of the parent is essential for achieving the best possible results with the   child. If you're not getting the results you want with your child, look at what you are doing to produce the results you get. 

2. A stable, harmonious home-environment provides the child with the essential support necessary to demonstrate a healthy attitude and responsible behavior. If your child has been displaying disruptive or non-cooperative self-conduct, improve the peace, harmony and order of his surroundings.  

3.  A stable, loving connection with the child establishes the necessary foundation to motivate the child's willing cooperation. In other words, the better you connect with the child, the better you direct and correct the child.  

4. A deep, consistent, unconditional flow of loving adoration and admiration supplies the child with the crucial support for the child's development  and display of responsible self-direction. If your child's behavior has been disturbing you, it's time for you to grow more loving. 

5.  The parent's application of  conscious, alert attention focused on the present moment reveals what both parent and child actually need in the present. The opposite of this is parenting on "auto-pilot": permitting your habitual, unconscious, "knee-jerk" reactions to run you and expecting your child make more conscious and considerate choices. 

6. You cannot improve a child's self-control while you are losing yours, because children behave as do those around them. When you react with anger and stress you demonstrate weak self-control, which leads the child, by your example, to do the same.

 7.  Establishing behavior boundaries in a calm, compassionate manner leads the child most effectively. When you discipline with anger and stress, you mistreat yourself and lower the child's self-confidence, self-esteem, and motivation to do better.

8.  Taking charge in your relationship with your child begins with taking charge of your reactions to your child.Preserving your peace and poise helps your child remain calm and well-behaved and provides you with access to your own best judgment.  

9.  Balanced living permits the your healthy, happy, higher  potential to function in all areas of life, including parenting,. The next time that you feel frustrated with your child, consider the possibility that your real problem stems from pushing yourself too hard in some area, and thus leading an imbalanced life. 

  10.  The quality of relationship between the parents functions as a model for the child. A loving, mutually respectful relationship between the parents teaches the child how to have a healthy relationship. One way of improving your child's way of relating with others is to improve the way that you relate with your mate. 

11. Provide your child with a simple explanation of how fulfilling your direction will serve her self-interest, rather than demanding the child blindly "do as you are told". This supports the development of his/her ability to make sound, responsible choices even when there is no one there to tell him/her what to do, or when someone tells him/her to do something wrong.   

 12. Demonstrate respect for the sacredness of all life to lead children to become healthy, happy, socially and environmentally responsible citizens of a more caring world.